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Dear Jew-Face:

Havin a good time? How much money did you rob from Briggs and us fans so they could stick you in the field and corupt our line up with your Jewness? Your kind doesnt belong in our country in first place and certainly not on our baseball teams. I will send this same letter to your rookie yid friend Eisenstat before he poisons our players too. Go back to Jewland if you no what is good for you.

American Danny


Dear Danny:

I can’t mail this back because you were too cowardly to include an address on the envelope, but it feels good to write it anyway.

This country has declared itself a free nation and land of opportunity for all. If you are against that than you are the corrupt traitor here. And if you had more than a grade school education, you would know that there currently isn’t a “Jewland” to go back to. I do reside in the Detroit Tigers dugout, though, if you’d ever like to come down and discuss this face-to-face.



Dear Markie:

I wish I could tell you my Tigers are closing in on first place. We have a good shot at getting closer right now, playing Boston and New York, but we started this big home stand by getting swept by the Senators. It was a nightmare. Our pitchers couldn’t throw a ball past a flea, and they trounced us 16-1 and 14-1 the last two games. Dutch Leonard looked like Walter Johnson out there.

Luckily, the bad Philadelphia A’s arrived after that, and this time we swept THEM. I hit pretty well, but it was just a warmup for our opening game against the Red Sox this afternoon. Vern Kennedy won his fifth without a loss, dropped his ERA to 1.73, and we had almost 25,000 folks on hand as we outlasted them 10-6.

31Hx5WlZ6qL._SL500_AA300_The fun came when my pal Jimmie Foxx tied me in the home run race with 13 with his solo shot in the 5th. After I singled in the 1st, he was really giving it to me at the first base bag and called for Fritz Ostermueller to throw the ball over three times, just to get me mad.

I don’t like Ostermueller, who is one of those league racists, and I was sorry to see Dick Midkiff replace him in the 8th with us ahead 8-6. But I could hear Jimmie still jockeying me when I came up with two aboard. (“Easy out here, Dick! Easy out!”)

Damn if I didn’t wait on the next curve he threw and drive it into our shadowy upper deck! Stuck my tongue out at Jimmie as I rounded first and maybe I saw him smile.

I’m glad you can follow the standings and such in the sheets I send you, but it’s too bad there isn’t a way for you to hear Ty Tyson’s radio broadcasts of the Tigers games. He’s very entertaining.

Then again, I hope you are able to get anything on your radio other than Adolf Hitler speeches. It’s hard for me to know exactly what is going on over there, especially with us traveling so much, but when I don’t hear back from you I get even more worried. It’s almost like you’re my kid or something.

Please write back whenever you can. In the meantime, I’ll keep relating my baseball adventures to you.



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